


Pepper Spray and Puppet Masters

by starrika



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bella Grows A Backbone, Crossover, Drama, F/M, Friendship, No Such Thing As Nessie Tra La La, Post - Deathly Hallows, Pre-Epilogue, Romance, Strong Female Characters Rock, Women Being Awesome, in progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrika/pseuds/starrika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Twilight/Harry Potter. Bella's abroad in London to recover from the divorce and stumbles into Weasley Wizard Wheezes. Georges discovers pepper spray. Bella makes a disturbing discovery about the Volturi. Bella/George. Jacob and Edward sympathetic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This might be a bit confusing at first, but the plotbunny wouldn’t let go. This is post Deathly Hallows and using some of Breaking Dawn’s canon, although this is obviously AU. I promise, some backstory for Bella and how she ended up in London will appear, but I didn’t want eight paragraphs of exposition to begin. She will come across as a bit OC from the Twilight series, but she’s grown and matured before this fic starts. I promise, all will be explained in good time.

Bella first realized that things had gone pear shaped when she saw a kid pop a sweet into his mouth and turn into an oversized bird. The fact that no one around her batted an eye was her second clue that she’d managed to stumble into one of _those_ situations again.

She took a step back and promptly bumped into someone else.

“Steady, love.” He’d gripped her upper arm tight, coming around to note the odd look on her face. “You all right?” He was fingering a long stick of wood and Bella looked from him to the toys buzzing around the shop, and then to the still-a-bird boy.

“I’m fairly certain I’ve stumbled into something I shouldn’t,” she said bluntly, fighting the urge to laugh at the situation. She’d come from London to avoid the unbelievable and supernatural, and this place reeked of it. “Although I’m in a toy shop this time, so hopefully you aren’t going to kill me. The Volturi could never manage to come off this benign.”

He cursed under his breath, muttering something about a mugging or a muggle – whatever British slang that was, although he stopped short at her mention of the Volturi. “Oi! Verity? Can you watch the front for a tic?” he yelled, tugging Bella by the arm towards a door behind the counter.

Bella dug in her heels. “I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said stubbornly, her hand inching its way towards her pocket and the pepper spray Charlie had given her before she left.

He grabbed her wrist with one hand, fishing into her pocket with the other. “No going for your wand,” he muttered, but his face when he pulled out the canister was one of confusion. He tossed it back at her, not that Bella could have caught it even at close range, and it clattered to the floor – letting its contents out with a hiss.

“Shit!” Bella hissed, throwing up her arm in a futile attempt to keep it from getting in her eyes. Others in the store scattered, coughing and exclaiming about a new product.

The redhead who’d been talking to her was reacting too, but his reaction was just as puzzling. “Merlin! That’s brilliant! Where’d you get that? I’ll have to contact the American shop?”

This time, she let him pull her towards the door, her eyes burning and watering too much to make her way out. He pointed that stick behind him after her shut the door and she heard a squelching sound. Then he turned that stick on her and the burning sensation disappeared.

He’d brought her into some sort of office, with a few chairs and a couch, a desk, and a couple of bookshelves with ancient looking ledgers. He perched himself on the edge of the desk, leaning forward in interest. “Seriously, where’d you get that? It was brilliant!”

Bella wrinkled her brow in confusion, fairly sure they had pepper spray in the UK. “Uh, it’s pepper spray. You can get it anywhere…?” she trailed off.

His brow wrinkled, and he was fingering that stick again. “Say, I get that things are different in America, but are you a Muggle or a Squib or what?”

“Say what?” Bella asked. While she was fairly certain she had stumbled into _something_ again, the entire situation had been too absurd to be anything other than benign. If this had been a plot of the Volturi, she’d already been dead.

“Oh, the Americans call them Mundanes and Magically-Challenged, I think. Dad says they change the terms every ten years to try and make people feel better about themselves or some rot,” he explained, letting his legs swing and twirling that stick in his hands. He was grinning in a friendly manner.

Bella had to give him credit – if he was going to kill her, he was one of the best actors she’d ever seen. “I’m sorry, I still don’t follow.”

He wiggled his fingers and shot a few sparks out of that stick. “You know, magic?” he said, using a duh tone of voice.

Bella let out a sigh and rolled her eyes upward. If she hadn’t already had to deal with mindreading vampires, imprinting werewolves, and the vampire mafia, it might have been shocking. Instead, it was another irritation the Cullens hadn’t thought to warn her about. “Non-magical, then. Whichever term that’s supposed to be,” she said with a shrug. “Might be why I got some weird looks at the pub before. Kept asking me for Galleons and whatnot when I was trying to pay with Pounds. Don’t see what the problem was with being able to see the place. It was as plain as day on the street,” she said, irritated.

He rocked back, legs stilling. “You could see the place? And how’d you know about the Volturi?”

Bella could tell she was going to be here a while, so she let herself flop back onto the couch with a sigh. “My ex-husband was a vampire. We had a few run-ins. And yes, I could see the place. I don’t see what the big deal is,” she snapped.

“Your ex-husband is a vampire,” he repeated slowly, after a moment with his mouth hung open. “They _marry_?”

Bella rolled her eyes again, reminded a bit of Jacob. “Yes, they _marry_.” She crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, doing her best impression of Rosalie. “Explain.”

He let out a long sigh and went over to the fireplace – who had a fire in July, anyway? – and threw some powder into it. “Hermione Granger,” he called, and Bella wondered if he had gone mad.

Then a woman’s head _appeared_ in the fire, and Bella’s mouth dropped open.

“Look, she’s Muggle-raised, I think, because she can see the Leaky, but her ex-husband was a _vampire_ and she knows the effing Volturi,” he was saying, and the woman’s head was nodding. It was almost too much, even for Bella.

The woman turned her gaze towards Bella, lips pursed. “Go ahead. This could be an international incident if you tried to Obliviate her anyway. You know how touchy the Americans can be with their citizens overseas. Particularly since they view the Statutes of Secrecy as some sort of pick-and-choose buffet.”

Her head vanished, leaving the redhead man laughing softly. “All right. This husband of yours-“

“Ex-husband,” Bella correctly crisply.

He threw his head back with a laugh, putting his hands up in surrender. “ _Ex_ -husband,” he corrected himself. “What’d he tell you about stuff you’d never had believed if you didn’t know he was a vampire?”

It was an odd starting place, and Bella kept her arms crossed. “Not much. Found out more from my werewolf ex, honestly,” she said, a bit of bitterness in her voice.

His eyebrows rose in shock. “And you’ve dated a werewolf. Got a thing for magical creatures? Going for a Centaur next?” he asked with a snicker.

Bella just quirked an eyebrow, again trying her best to imitate Rosalie’s cool contempt.

He laughed again at her expression, and settled himself back on the edge of the desk. “Right. So. There’s a small part of the population which can do magic. We do magic with wands – these things,” he said, waving that stick in his hand, which emitted another spray of sparks. “Based on a whole bunch of outdated bullshit, which the Americans mostly don’t follow, as Hermione said, we keep this a secret from the rest of society.”

Bella nodded. “Go on.”

“There’s all sorts of things you can do with magic – change something into something else, fly, clean your dishes, whatever. There’s this stuff called Charms which is basically enchanting things to make them do stuff. Or protecting things.” He paused and shrugged. “Whatever. Basically, there’s a charm on that pub you went into that was supposed to keep people who didn’t have magic from seeing it. So either you’ve got magic and the Americans forgot to find you and tell you about it, or the Charms aren’t working. Or something freaky,” he said with a grin and another shrug.

“Probably freaky,” Bella said drily. “It’s rather how things go for me.”

He laughed again, then stuck out his hand. “George Weasley.”

“Bella Swan,” she said, shaking his hand with a smile. “And most people were acting as if the pub didn’t exist. I thought that meant it was cheap and shitty,” she admitted.

That made him laugh harder. “Well, it’s not exactly the most up to date inside,” Bella protested.

“Anyway,” he said, still grinning. “You can do pretty much anything with magic, but not many people can do it. So we keep it secret and have our own shops, schools, and things. Our own Ministry, too.”

“Ah, government. The same everywhere,” Bella said, her lips quirking upward.

“You’re taking this remarkably well,” he commented, letting his legs swing again.

“Rather benign discovery,” Bella quipped. “You’re not trying to kill me and I’m in a children’s toy shop. Now, if there were clowns…”

He snorted. “Bloody creepy, clowns. We’ve got a no clown policy here,” he said, grinning.

Bella flashed him smile. “Now. How do _you_ know about the Volturi?” she asked. From what she understood, they killed everyone who knew about them. From the sounds of it, these people knew all about them – if George and the Hermione woman were any indication.

He sobered, and Bella noted how the emotion practically slid off his face. “We had a war here, not that long ago. Magical,” he clarified. “Some fellow – Hermione says you Muggles would think he was like Adolph Hitler, whoever that is – tried to kill a whole bunch of magical people based on their blood. Their ancestry,” he clarified.

Bella felt a chill go down her spine at that. The magical equivalent of _Hitler_? It wasn’t a reassuring though, particularly with the extent o f magic an unknown. “Go on,” she said quietly, seeing him struggle at finding words.

“He recruited a lot of marginalized people in wizarding society like werewolves and vampires to fight and started killing anyone who wasn’t a pureblood. The final battle was about a year and a half ago.” His voice trailed off.

Bella frowned. “But what does this have to do with the Volturi?”

The question seemed to pull him back. “Oh. Well they fought with Voldemort, of course. The bad guy. Wiped most of ‘em out, although the Ministry let a few over in Italy that didn’t join in stay, since some semblance of rules and leadership’s better than letting it descend into anarchy. It’s the reason we don’t have many vampires in England – the treaty with them.”

“What?” Bella shouted. He rocked back in his place on the desk again, eyebrows up at her reaction. “You people _negotiate_ with them? Do you know how many fucking people they kill? _Innocent_ people in Italy to see the sights? Your government _approved_ of this?!” she nearly shrieked.

George threw up his hands. “Hey, hey. I don’t work for the Ministry. I’m only telling you what I know, which isn’t much. And how do _you_ know what they do?” he asked.

“Because I’ve _been_ to Volterra, you ass. As far as I know, they still have a fucking mandate out for my death!” Bella snapped. Even if this magical world or whatever it wanted to call itself seemed harmless enough, she wasn’t going to stick around if they did deals with the Volturi. She’d end up dead in one of the back alleys fairly quick, she’d guess. She lurched to her feet, intending to get the hell out of London and on the next flight back to the States, just to be safe.

He was quicker, the grip on her upper arms just firm enough to keep her in place. “Hey, hey,” he said again, this time a bit softer. “Look, I know a few good people in the Ministry. I could be wrong about the whole thing with the Volturi. Let me Floo a few people and I’ll get all the facts.” She let him push her back into her seat on the couch. “If it’s as bad as you say, I don’t blame you for running off.”

She sat back, drumming her fingers on the arm of the couch as he threw more of that powder into the fire. It had only taken her three weeks in London to stumble into something she shouldn’t have. She was going to _kill_ Alice.


	2. Chapter 2

George had gone back to talking to heads in the fireplace, and Bella had gathered that it was some sort of magical equivalent of the telephone. It seemed a bit inconvenient, though – like an old, solid rotary phone which kept you in one place. With magic, she wondered why they hadn’t created something smaller and portable, like a cell phone.

Then again, maybe they had. All she really knew is that they did things with sticks – _wands_ , she corrected herself, although she allowed herself a tiny mental snicker.

George had popped back to her perch on the desk fifteen minutes later, swinging his legs and twirling his wand again. Bella wondered if they had the magical equivalent of Ritalin.

“Do you want something to drink? I’ve got a few people on their way, but we’re probably going to have to wait at least twenty for my brother to finish up and slip out of the Ministry early,” he explained.

Bella shrugged. “Sure. What do you have?”

“Uh, water. Pumpkin juice. Butterbeer. Some Firewhiskey, if you feel like getting pissed,” he said with a grin, waggling his eyebrows in a mock-suggestive manner.

Bella couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Now, are those Brit things or magic things? I mean, the Brits drink _Barley water_ , so for all I know, it’s a national pastime to drink odd, nasty things, but I’ve never heard of any of that.”

“Well, water is this wet stuff that you tend to find in oceans, lakes, rivers-“

“Other than water,” Bella said, lips twitching.

“Magical,” George said. “Pumpkin juice is just that – juice. Hermione says it tastes like a pie she had in America, but I don’t know if that’s magical or not. Do you Muggles eat pumpkin?” he asked. Bella couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“Yes, we eat pumpkin. Pumpkin pie is a traditional food for the holidays – Thanksgiving mostly, although some people have it at Christmas. It’s basically mashed pumpkin that’s spiced and baked. It’s also used in other things, though. There are pumpkin soups and pumpkin filled pastas, things like that,” Bella explained.

“Huh. Wonder why we only drink it,” George said with a shake of his head. “Anyway, Butterbeer is slightly alcoholic, although it’s so mild most people let their kids drink it. It tastes a bit like butterscotch candies, although more mild and less sweet. Firewhiskey is magical whiskey. It makes Muggle whiskey taste like water – there’s a burning sensation in your throat that’s been enhanced. It’s manageable mixed with other things.”

She knew she really should stick to water, but Bella was curious. “Could I try a Butterbeer?” she asked. She did like butterscotch candies, and while she was still ready to get the hell out of the London, George himself didn’t seem all that bad.

He hopped off the desk. “Sure. Back in a tic,” he said, and with a _crack_ , he disappeared.

Bella’s mouth dropped open for the second time that day, and it was still hanging open when he reappeared, holding two bottles.

He grinned. “Did I forget to tell you about that?” he said, the innocent expression on his face not fooling her. He handed her the bottle, then tapped the neck of his to hers. “Cheers.”

“Can you do that anywhere?” she asked. The drink in her hand was forgotten for a moment.

“In the country, yeah. Probably over to Ireland pretty easily, although International is harder. Plus, there’s lots of rules and regs. You have to know where you’re going though, and you have to have complete concentration or you splinch yourself – leave body parts all over,” he said.

Bella made a face at the idea of just finding a _hand_ someplace. “Lovely,” she muttered. She took a sip of the drink, a bit tentative. “Not bad,” she said, surprised. “Reminds me of a Bourbon Stout I had one time, actually.”

Whatever his response, it was interrupted by a woman tumbling out of the Floo. It was the same woman as before Bella realized, as she recognized the bushy brown hair.

“’Lo, Mione,” George said, hopping up to give her a hug.

“I told you not to call me that, George,” she protested. “I don’t put up with it from Ron, so I certainly don’t have to put up with it from the rest of you.” She was smiling though, which took some of the bite from her words.

She turned and smiled, offering her hand to Bella. “Hermione Granger,” she said.

“Bella Swan.”

“I’m sorry, I know this is terribly rude, but you’ve married a vampire? From what I understood, they tended to be non-monogamous, but I argued in one of my presentations to the Department Head that their behavior seemed to be learned and a result of their marginalization in society. _And_ , George said you dated a werewolf. How you would compare the two?” Hermione rattled off. “You’re terribly enlightened for Britain. Would you say your experience was indicative of the American attitude towards magical creatures?”

“Um, come again?” Bella said, sitting back down on the couch hard.

George, for his part, was stifling a laugh, face red from trying to keep silent. Hermione rounded on him. “What?”

“You’re getting SPEW-ish,” he said with a snort.

Hermione paused, but then laughed a bit. “I suppose I am.” She turned back to Bella. “I’m sorry. I tend to get overexcited about things I’m interested in,” she explained. “Equal rights for magical creatures has always been a big issue for me – I’m not sure what George has told you about our society, but it’s rather insular, archaic, and with a rigid class system. Vampires and werewolves are regarded rather like feral, rabid animals, so it’s quite exciting to find someone who _doesn’_ t think that way.”

“Well, he’s my _ex_ -husband, so I’m not feeling particularly enlightened right now towards him _or_ my ex-boyfriend,” Bella said drily, but smiled afterward to soften her words. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about this magical society, so she was going to be very careful with what she told them.

“Ah, yes. Sorry about that,” Hermione offered.

Bella was saved by saying any more by the close arrival of two more people from the fireplace. Bella filed that information away – it was like a phone and some sort of transportation thing. Bella wondered if there were fireplace stations, or something like an airport with tons of grates.

She stood again, first shaking hands with a Neville Longbottom and then an older man with a close resemblance to George. “Arthur Weasley. I’m George’s father,” he explained.

Another redhead came out of the fireplace, looking far more official than the rest that had arrived. “Percy Weasley,” he said officiously. 

George rolled his eyes. “This prat is one of my brothers. He works directly for the Minister,” he explained.

Everyone was settling themselves into seats when a man appeared in the middle of the room with a small _pop_. Bella was a bit startled, but everyone else’s reacted in a surprising way. They all lunged for their sticks, a few even shooting off colored light at the man before pulling themselves up short.

The dark haired man grinned unapologetically. “Sorry. You know I hate to Floo,” he said with a shrug.

Everyone went back to settling themselves into seats. George stood up to shake his hand, and then turned to Bella. “Bella, this is Harry Potter,” he said, and there was a certain emphasis to his name. Bella had no clue what he was talking about, but everyone else was looking at her expectantly.

“Uh, are you some sort of magical prince? Should I be curtseying or something?” she asked, offering her hand.

That set everyone off in the room laughing, Harry most of all. “No, no,” he choked out. “Although I am rather well-known in the magical world. I think George was trying to see if I’d ever been mentioned around you,” he said.

“I see,” Bella said, even though she really didn’t.

Harry hopped up on the desk to sit next to George. “So, what’s this I hear about possible Ministry corruption? How shocking! We’ve never had to deal with anything like _that_ before,” he said cheekily.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione clapped her hands together, looking like a school teacher. “All right, then. Let’s get down to business,” she said officiously, trying to quiet the many conversations in the room. She pulled something out of her pocket, and with a wave of her wand, Bella saw the item expand into a notebook and pen. She was never going to get used to that. Hermione took a seat next to her on the sofa, balancing the notebook on her knee. “I’ll take notes for reference.”

Bella noted the amused look on everyone’s face and gathered this was normal behavior for her.

“Okay, so, as background, Bella saw the Leaky Cauldron and wandered in to Diagon Alley. Naturally, she was attracted to the best shoppe here, and couldn’t stop herself from talking to the most handsome man she had ever seen,” George said, giving a little half-bow from his perch on the desk. “She’s never been contacted by any magical authorities in America, so we’re unsure whether she’s magical, or if there are other factors at work.”

Bella couldn’t help but grin at George’s pronouncements. “I had no idea magic existed, but I saw the pub as clear as day,” she affirmed. “But that’s not really what I’m concerned about,” she added with a frown.

Hermione nodded. “It may still be relevant, though. Things that may seem unconnected to you may be incredibly important later. It’s important to have all the facts in front of us. We’ve learned the necessity of transparency,” she murmured. Bella took a peek at the notebook, amused to see she had divided it into columns and had even begun a Venn diagram at the top.

“So, anyway, Bella drops into conversation that the Volturi like to eat the innocents. Oh, and they have a mandate out for her death. I thought you good fellows – and lovely lady,” George said, with another cheeky bow in Hermione’s direction. “You were the best lot to figure out, if this is true, why the Ministry is colluding with them.”

“Colluding? Have you been spending time with Hermione, then? That’s a five galleon word, George.” Bella twisted in her seat, noting it was Neville who spoke. Everyone laughed, even Hermione, who seemed to be doing her best not to.

“All right, I have to ask. One, how do you know they eat innocents. And two, why do they have a mandate for your death?” Harry asked, looking at her soberly. The good cheer he had displayed before was gone. He had an intense look on his face. Bella realized he’d probably be quite intimidating in fight, even if he didn’t have the physical build she normally equated with strength. Who knew what they could do with those wands?

She looked down at her hands. “Well, it’s a bit of a long story. I’ll give you the abridged version.” Bella could see Hermione open her mouth, presumably to protest. “I’ll answer any questions, if you think you need more information. It’s really teenage melodrama. I doubt it will be relevant.”

“That sounds fair,” Arthur said, giving her an encouraging nod. “Go on then. Hermione will pepper you with questions regardless.”

Bella sighed. “I met my ex-husband when I was in high school. He lived with a small clan of vampires who all chose to abstain from drinking human blood. They posed as a family – Carlisle as the father, who worked as a doctor and Esme as his wife. There were five children, if you could call them that. Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice, and my – Edward,” Bella said, stumbling slightly. “They chose the town because the cloud cover let them live normal lives. Their routine was to live in various places until it became evident that they weren’t aging, and then move again. They kept to themselves and didn’t really associate much with the town, except for Carlisle – he really is a fantastic doctor.” Bella paused, realizing she was getting away from the story.

“They spent their time with school and getting degrees. They were all in relationships, except for Edward. We – developed a relationship, although he tried quite hard to avoid it. I was quite persistent,” she said with a wry twist to her lips. “It attracted the attention of some other vampires traveling through. The entire thing was like dominoes, one action leading to the next. I can at least say I’ve grown since then.” Bella took a deep breath. “Basically, I had to go to Volterra and convince Edward I was still alive, to prevent him from committing suicide by flouting the Volturi’s laws. We came to the attention of their leaders, and Alice, who has the ability to see some of the future, convinced the Volturi that I would be turned and join the Cullen clan.”

Bella shrugged her shoulders. “Well, it seemed like a great idea at the time,” she said with a sigh. “If they did not turn me, the Volturi would kill me. They have a prohibition that no one must know their existence.” She paused, not wanting to tell the last part. “While I was there, in Volterra….I saw what they did. They took tour groups to the catacombs. I heard the screams. There were children in that group,” she finished, forcing the words out. “From the comments made, it was a regular occurrence.”

She took another deep breath. “George told me you had a war and that much of the Volturi was wiped out. I’m not sure who is in power, but I could contact Alice to see what she’s seen. The last I spoke with them, they weren’t aware of any significant change in Volterra. So I don’t know – maybe these vampires aren’t so bad. But I doubt it,” Bella said firmly.

Everyone in the room looked sober; the only sound for the moment was the scratch of Hermione’s pen. “Well,” Hermione said, voice bright. She flipped to another page in the notebook. “I have just a _few_ questions for you.”

Everyone groaned.


End file.
